UK Sales Joke

FadedStamp94 · 08-16-2011

Stingray I hope you don't mind but I wanted to put a UK sales joke on here as by the time you guys are logging on we're logging off!!

And I cant begin my day without a good chuckle

Tony was very excited; he had just landed his first professional sales role.

On his first day at the company, the sales manager took him up on to the roof of the building and said, "I am going to give you your very first lesson in sales.

"Stand on the edge of the roof."

Reluctantly, the new salesman moved closer and closer to the edge of the roof.

"Now," said the sales manager, "when I say, 'jump!' I want you to jump off the roof."

"But, sir," protested the green sales recruit, "there's a huge drop!"

"Do you want to succeed in sales?" said the sales manager."

"YES"

"And you trust me, don't you?

" "Yes, I guess."

"So do as I say and jump."

Tony jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His sales manager went racing down the stairs towards him. "That was your first lesson in sales, Tony. Never trust anyone in business!"

I think the moral of the story is quite clear, If your sales manager is telling you to jump off a roof, it may be time to look for a new job....

"And old Dave, he'd go up to his room, y'understand, put on his green velvet slippers - I'll never forget - and pick up his phone and call the buyers, and without leaving his room, at the age of eighty-four, he made his living. And when I saw that, I realized that selling was the greatest career a man could want." Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005), Death of a Salesman, 1949.

KindDate · 08-08-2006

So over here, we get the reruns of Dr Who while, across the pond, you are treated to reruns of Stingray's JOTD.

http://community.jigsaw.com/t5/All-Things-Sales/Sales-Joke-of-the-Day-trust/m-p/35298/highlight/true...

FadedStamp94 · 08-16-2011

awwww.... **** never saw that .... Ill try again................

A travelling salesman was passing through a small town in the West when he saw a little old man sitting in a rocking chair on the stoop of his house. The little old man looked so contented that the salesman couldn't resist going over and talking to him. "You look as if you don't have a care in the world," the salesman told him. "What is your formula for a long and happy life?" "Well," replied the little old man, "I smoke six packs of cigarettes a day, I drink a quart of bourbon every four hours and six cases of beer a week. I never wash and I go out every night." "My goodness," exclaimed the salesman, "that's just great! How old are you?" "Twenty-five," was the reply
.

"And old Dave, he'd go up to his room, y'understand, put on his green velvet slippers - I'll never forget - and pick up his phone and call the buyers, and without leaving his room, at the age of eighty-four, he made his living. And when I saw that, I realized that selling was the greatest career a man could want." Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005), Death of a Salesman, 1949.

KindDate · 08-08-2006

I feel for you, lad. It is hard to get those reruns out of your mind, like that sing that just won't go away.

http://community.jigsaw.com/t5/All-Things-Sales/Sales-Joke-of-the-Day-April-23-Aging/m-p/36832/highl...

FadedStamp94 · 08-16-2011

ill give up now...

"And old Dave, he'd go up to his room, y'understand, put on his green velvet slippers - I'll never forget - and pick up his phone and call the buyers, and without leaving his room, at the age of eighty-four, he made his living. And when I saw that, I realized that selling was the greatest career a man could want." Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005), Death of a Salesman, 1949.

AppleSeed101 · 03-17-2011

I appreciated the effort!

Don't give up!

KindDate · 08-08-2006

I agree, FadedStamp, don't give up - give our British family and us early risers something to look forward to. Got anything with a distinctive UK feel?

FadedStamp94 · 08-16-2011

A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop.

She browses around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn"t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little "accident", she asks "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?

He answers," Madam, if you **bleep** just looking at it, you are going to **bleep** yourself when I tell you the price."

Moral of the story - Dont be afraid to put a price to a customer, if they are interested in your proposition price is a false objection.

"And old Dave, he'd go up to his room, y'understand, put on his green velvet slippers - I'll never forget - and pick up his phone and call the buyers, and without leaving his room, at the age of eighty-four, he made his living. And when I saw that, I realized that selling was the greatest career a man could want." Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005), Death of a Salesman, 1949.

FadedStamp94 · 08-16-2011

ahh... ive been bleeped over... i hope you can guess what the bleeped out words should have been.

far ted and sh it

"And old Dave, he'd go up to his room, y'understand, put on his green velvet slippers - I'll never forget - and pick up his phone and call the buyers, and without leaving his room, at the age of eighty-four, he made his living. And when I saw that, I realized that selling was the greatest career a man could want." Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005), Death of a Salesman, 1949.

AppleSeed101 · 03-17-2011

Classic...distictly British with the toilet humour!

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